I once had this cool, sweet, kind, generous, fun, patient nyab who was part of my family. And now, she chooses to disconnect all connections with our family and I truly understand and respect her decision. When I visited California, it made me missed her terribly. I just wonder how she is doing. Hopefully well. Hopefully stable. No matter what, in my heart, I still value and admire her as a loving nyab. As long as I live, I will never forget her and her kindness. And I hope she is as happy as she wishes and want; ‘cause we only live once, we must live according to our dreams. I hope that God is your guardian and may your worries seem small. I miss you. (:

I truly appreciate my parents for everything they’ve taught my siblings us. For all those times my parents would yell and teach us how to respect each other, they have become a growth within each one of us. I’m not quite sure if my siblings think or reconsider what my parents say, as for me, I’m probably one who doesn’t seem to listen or pay attention…but those words are deeply a sight of me. I’m glad and truly thankful my parents always told and taught us, “Don’t criticize others. Think before you speak. Don’t speak like that to each other, you guys aren’t animals. Love and respect each other.” I am truly grateful all my siblings are very respectful of what I want to do/like and gives me freedom. I would never trade my brothers for anyone else. And my sister too, of course. They aren’t the perfect humans ever, but they surely know how to love their family with respect, support. Nyab and Txiv Luam, God bless their kind hearts for their unconditional love and awesome adaptation to our crazy family. Yeups, much love to all the gangstas in my tightest Joe BEE YANG familia!

1. Understand the workings of dishonesty. Most of us learned to be dishonest as children. The process often began with the realization that different behaviors result in different outcomes. For example, saying certain things (or not saying certain things) garnered desirable approval and praise, or the undesirable disapproval and censure, if not punishment. Indulgence in dishonest behavior to get desired results was just a small step away. With time the thought processes behind such actions get so entrenched in our subconscious mind that one is not even aware of them. A time comes when one loses the capacity to know when and where to draw the line and how negatively does dishonesty affect our lives (see Warnings below). Dishonesty often becomes a tool
   • Pretend that there is nothing wrong with us
   • Shift blame to others
   • Avoid embarrassment
   • Distract ourselves
   • Minimize conflict
   • Avoid responsibility or work
2. Fess up. Be willing to address issues where you have been less than honest in the past, whether you took a cookie and then denied it, or blatantly lied about whose fault an automobile accident was. While reviewing your past transgressions can create discomfort and guilt, recognizing where you have been dishonest in the past can help you identify patterns and stop them from continuing.
   
   
   • If you feel guilty for having been dishonest in the past, apologize to the person you lied to and/or find a creative way to make things right. For example, if you kept money that you knew wasn’t yours and didn’t make a good faith effort to return it to its owner, make an equivalent or greater donation to charity. If you’ve lied to a person who plays an important role in your life (a significant other, relative, or friend) the best (but most difficult) thing to do is come clean.
   • List the areas where you may have a weakness. It may be as simple as a tendency to make up excuses for failures, or as complicated as a penchant for stealing. Remember that dishonesty is rooted in fear, so you must look for and face those fears. By listing areas where you have a problem, and then working to deal with them, you can consciously battle these habits. If you find yourself lying because you fear disapproval from someone, for example, perhaps you need to learn how to stop being a people pleaser and be yourself. Most importantly, admit your errors so that you can forgive yourself and use those experiences to reinforce your determination to do better. You can’t fix what you don’t acknowledge as a problem.
3. Think honestly. This may sound silly, but if you don’t think honestly, you won’t BE honest. Prejudices and preconceived ideas can make it difficult to distinguish what the truth really is. Don’t take things at face value. When you read, see, or hear something, don’t make assumptions. Offer the benefit of the doubt, and be skeptical if necessary. When you make a commitment to communicating and understanding the truth, it can be humbling to realize that most of what we think we know is actually just based on assumptions rather than facts. Keep in mind a Jewish proverb: “What you don’t see with your eyes, don’t witness with your mouth.”
4. Practice being honest on the simple things. This is especially important in situations where “coloring” the facts would make no difference in the world, which covers a good bit of life (from speaking the truth, to avoiding simple thoughtless acts like picking up someone’s pencil or grabbing an apple off the neighbor’s tree to snack on without thinking about it). Abraham Lincoln became famous for going to great lengths to return a few cents that did not belong to him, hence the nickname “Honest Abe”. By applying honesty to the little things, you will get in the habit of being honest in general.
5. Exercise tact. We all know that being literally honest can hurt feelings and turn friendships sour. It can also be misinterpreted as criticism or a lack of support. It’s very tempting to tell a “white lie” when dealing with sensitive loved ones (especially children), but you can still be honest by being creative in how you express the truth.
   
   
   • Emphasize the positive. Shift the focus away from what, in all honesty, you think is negative. Instead of saying “No, I don’t think you look good in those pants” say “They’re not as flattering as the black dress—that dress really looks amazing on you. Have you tried it on with those stockings you wore to my cousin’s wedding last year?”
   • You have the right to remain silent. If you’re pushed into a corner and don’t know how to respond, say “Can we talk about this another time?” or “I really don’t feel comfortable talking about this. You should really address this with…” Don’t say “I don’t know” if you really do know—it can come back to bite you in the rear later on. The person might catch on and realize that you know something, and they might get pushy. Repeat yourself and leave the conversation as quickly as possible.
   • When all else fails, be honest—but gently. Wrap the potentially hurtful truth in appreciation, praise, and, if applicable, affection.
6. Find a balance between full disclosure and privacy. Just because you’re honest doesn’t mean you have to air out all of your (or anybody else’s) business. There are some things that we don’t talk about because it’s not information that the person asking may be entitled to. On the other hand, withholding information that you know should be disclosed is lying by omission. For instance, not telling a romantic partner that you have a child or that you’ve been married in the past is objectionable by most. Deciding what information a person should or should not know is a personal decision. Just because you believe a person is better off not knowing something doesn’t mean you’re acting in their best interest by hiding that information. Follow your gut, and put yourself in that person’s position: “If I was in their shoes, would I rightfully feel betrayed if this information wasn’t shared with me at an appropriate time?”
7. Remember that being honest isn’t easy. At its core, being honest is difficult because it makes us vulnerable. It shows people who we really are and that we make mistakes, which gives them a chance to criticize and reject in a more hurtful way than if we’d hidden the truth or lied to begin with. And sometimes, the truth just hurts. But, honesty develops character, as well as credibility and trust, all of which are the building blocks of high self-esteem and healthy relationships. Being honest isn’t a goal that you check off a list—it’s an ongoing process that will both challenge and benefit you throughout your life. Nothing is as liberating as having nothing to hide.

to become a smarter, wiser person.

to become knowledgeable.

to become successful.

to awake my dreams and transform them into a real story.

to spoil and give my beloved families everything on their “Dear Santa Clause, I want” list.

to write a novel of my adventurous life.

to become a director of my very own script.

to spread this thought in someone’s life and help him/her believe, “I CAN DO IT!”

to adopt, love, and care for little orphans or children whose parents are irresponsible.

to learn karate or how to fight or anything kung-fu.

and…I still have more…

We all love free things, but that comes easy-handed. My parents always said, “You don’t appreciate what we buy for you because it’s not your money.” False because I do, but I do have to agree though that working for your own money and paying for bills make you become more responsible; hey, that’s the real life! For me, I love working for my stuff. Ah, I believe I was much better at that than now. Maybe because I do not really enjoy working at the McDonald’s I am now residing. However, my whole point of writing this is: working for your own things is like building your own mountain….You watch it grow from your own hands, I just love it! I love originality and creativity! If you haven’t done something for yourself, such as working hard for that 500 IPHONE…you wouldn’t know. If you have, you would know this gutsy, awesome feelings of “YES, I’ve worked so hard for this!” Even though, everything is momentarily…it’s super amazing how little things ameliorate from it: knowledge.

It’s just so crazy, never thought I would be so into thinking. My dad use to always tell me to think before I do something, but I still lack doing that nowadays. LMFAO! It depends how much that decision is going to impact my life, then I will consider it; although, I know it is best to think before making a decision, yet I still don’t follow through because to me….it lies on how effective and important that decision is..In a way, I like it much better to experience first, and then think. Why? Because after my experiences, I would reflect on what happened and that’s how my perspective changes, by analyzing what/how I’ve gained and changed. Besides I already know what I should and shouldn’t do, so I don’t need to reconsider the answer I already determined for myself. Thinking, wondering, and realizations are so awesome! Because that is how you connect the dot! Anyhow, I am truly thankful my dad lectures and tells me what’s right or wrong, ask me the purpose of my doings, reminds me to think before I speak or do something; even though we do have our disagreements but without him…I wouldn’t be the person I am today too. Thinking has made me much more understanding and become very open-minded. Thanks career point lmao!

My speech professor taught me one thing I would never ever forget by questioning my classmates us,”Would you want to listen to someone’s speech who has no passion, meaning, or emotions? Or a speaker who doesn’t even know what he/she is presenting about? Or doesn’t know the purpose of what he/she is saying?” Of course not, who does or would want to? It’s just dry and pointless. Conversations are interesting when you are honest and rational because the other person would be thinking,”So, what’s the purpose of this?” By explaining yourself and reasons, that’s how people are be able to understand you. I think or believe half of the time, interesting conversations come from honesty. No wonder I love and admire honesty so much. People will listen to you when you have a good point/reasons, not saying they will agree but they will take it more into consideration. And for me, that’s what matters and counts = I plant a seed in their head by them rethinking of what I said = this is how actions are taken. It doesn’t really matter what they decide, but at least they consider what I said. Someone who is passionate of what he/she is speaking or telling will interest others more, since that passion must be reasonable. Anyhow, that’s it for now. LMFAO! Three blogs in a row.

I have never thought this day would exist LMAO; I have realized that I love learning, it’s just so good to know. It’s changed me a lot. Well, yesterday during my lunch break, I was talking to my co-worker Rita and she made me realize a lot about parenting. She is around her 80s now, but she is so freaking cool and awesome! She speaks out like how it is, gives her honest opinion, and most of all…she is pretty spontaneous too. She was telling me if parents continue threatens their kids, then of course the kids wouldn’t want to listen. Instead, why don’t parents encourage their kids more? If not, notify the kids their consequences, like how their decisions will lead onto something else or how it effects their life. It got me thinking about my parents….Heck yeah, whenever my parents menace me, it makes me don’t wanna listen to them. However, whenever my parents actually calmly tells me their thoughts and opinions of my options or decisions…I will always consider what they say more. No wonder my dad is calm when he lectures. It is more bearable and easier for my ears to listen; I do take it more into consideration. Man, this is why I love talking to people so much! I consume and learn a lot from them. Anyhow, God bless my wonderful co-worker Rita, she is a sweet person and I truly appreciate her for always giving me life advices. (:

I have been observing the differences between parents, families, adults, and came to a conclusion how I truly feel about it. Well, being raised as the fifth child, my parents taught us how to be “well-mannered.” Although, in my opinion, my siblings our manners aren’t the best yet. When friends/cousins come to my house, honestly, I just want them to feel comfortable as much as possible; being able to search for food and drinks. I mean, after all, it’s just me/us you know. And there those who feel like people are ill-mannered because their guests search for food and drinks, without asking for permission. I guess, you could base this on their relationship zone too. All in all, it really depends how you view it. Some appreciate others feeling/being comfortable enough get their own food and drinks; on the other side, some feel disrespected and uncomfortable. My mom, she is an introvert..so she doesn’t really like talking and prefers me not talk too much because she says “you might say something wrong.” And as for some of my aunts, they like me being talkative; they say, “you are very talkative and it make us parents feel comfortable talking to you since you are open.” Well, frankly, I have no clue which side to stand on. I just want people to feel comfortable, that’s what really matters to me; therefore, I am leaning on being talkative, of course. Anyways, I wrote this because I just sort of want people to look at the other side when they feel “weird” or “uneasy” with their guests/anyone. OR just be open-minded. The answer to this title is: IT DEPENDS HOW YOU LOOK AT IT.